“Japa” became a popular Nigerian word for relocating abroad, often with hopes of a better life. For many, the move delivers progress: better pay, stable electricity, safer environments and opportunities for children. But for others, the reality is harder than expected. High living costs, career downgrades, loneliness, racism and cold weather can lead to one painful question: “Was it worth it?”
If you’re feeling japa regret, you’re not alone.
Why Japa Regret Happens
- Expectations shaped by social media highlights
- Career setbacks and underemployment
- Financial pressure from high rent and family obligations
- Loneliness and loss of community
- Racism and feeling like an outsider
- Missing family, food and culture
- Visa restrictions limiting options
- Exhaustion from starting over
Separate Temporary Struggles From Long-Term Reality
Many people experience their hardest period in the first one to two years. Culture shock, job hunting and financial strain are often temporary. Ask yourself:
- Is this situation improving slowly?
- Have I given my plan enough time?
- What specific things would need to change for me to feel better?
Do an Honest Assessment
Write down what’s better and what’s worse compared to home, considering:
- Income and savings
- Career progression
- Safety and quality of life
- Children’s education and future
- Health and healthcare
- Relationships and community
- Mental and emotional wellbeing
Seeing it on paper can clarify your feelings.
Identify What You Can Change
Sometimes regret comes from specific problems that can be fixed:
- Moving to a cheaper city
- Changing jobs or careers
- Building community
- Reducing financial pressure from home
- Seeking professional or mental health support
- Upskilling for better opportunities
Small changes can make a big difference.
Stop Comparing
Social media shows curated success stories, both from people abroad and those thriving at home. Comparison fuels regret. Focus on your own goals and progress.
Consider Your Options
Stay and adjust: Commit to a clear plan for improving your situation over the next year or two.
Move elsewhere: Another city or country may suit you better.
Return home: Some people return and thrive, especially with savings, international experience and a clear plan. Nigeria’s Nigerians in Diaspora Commission (NIDCOM) works on diaspora engagement and may provide information useful to returnees.
Split your life: Some people build careers or businesses that allow them to spend time in both places.
Don’t Make Decisions in Crisis
Avoid making major decisions during extreme stress, winter lows or immediately after setbacks. Give yourself time, talk to trusted people and consider long-term consequences, including immigration status and children’s stability.
Talk About It
Many people hide their struggles because they fear judgment from family back home. Speaking honestly with friends, community members or counsellors can relieve pressure and offer perspective.
Protect Your Mental Health
Persistent sadness, hopelessness or anxiety may signal depression. Seek help from a doctor or mental health professional. Japa regret can be a real emotional burden.
Consider Your Children’s Views
If you have children, their experiences matter. They may be thriving at school or struggling with identity. Include their perspectives, in age-appropriate ways, when thinking about your family’s future.
Give Yourself Credit
Relocating takes courage. You navigated visas, travel, new systems and uncertainty. Even if things are hard now, you’ve already shown resilience. Recognising how far you’ve come can help you face the next decision with clarity instead of shame. Whatever you choose, the experience and skills you’ve gained abroad remain valuable, whether you stay, move on or return home.
Final Thoughts
Japa regret is real, but it doesn’t mean failure. Assess your situation honestly, fix what you can, avoid comparison and make decisions calmly. Whether you stay, move or return, choose the path that supports your wellbeing and long-term goals.